The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
