I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
