I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
