I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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