I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
