omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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