I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
