They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
