I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
