Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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