I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There r osticjed everywhere
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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