i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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