so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
