all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
