If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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