Sponge bath it is.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
