The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
