If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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