I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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