Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
