I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I could make wine with my vomit
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
