that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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