My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
