Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
