Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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