She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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