I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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