There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Say something about gay babies.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
