Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
