it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
