I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
