Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
