My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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