Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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