He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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