...so i touched it.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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