but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
