I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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