This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
