Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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