Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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