i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
