How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
