why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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