In the future we'll all be gay
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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