i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
