Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
