i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
