I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
