A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
