Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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