A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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